Dear Friends!

The year is coming to a close and of course, like most people, I’m planning and thinking of ways to edify myself in the new decade. There’s a lot that can be improved upon–and it took me some time to admit that. I didn’t have to beat myself up to come to that realization; I just began doing things.

I challenge you in the next few days to take up a couple of new activities for the new year. And that can be anything from a dance class, acting or swimming, drawing–whatever’s been tugging at your inner self! I believe we all have the ability to tap into the truest version of who we are once we let go of what we hope others perceive us as.

So get out there and do something new. Don’t be afraid of it. It’s okay to dislike it after you’ve tried it. But my hope for you is that you find out something really cool or unique about yourself. And though it may be frightening to take a new kind of risk, I also hope that you grow from it. I hope that you desire to be better than you were yesterday. I hope that you allow yourself to become great.

peace,

~shesneon

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Am I okay alone

I don’t like walking behind smokers

not because of the filth in their air

It’s because I’ve already got a cancer

And it’s in the way that I look at you

I started picking at my nails around 2:30

then wrestled with the happy place

behind my closed eye lids

I was your chocolate, your daily honey

in an owl shaped mug

I’m sick and annoyed with leaf blowers

moving one pile of waste to another place

It doesn’t make sense

You’re in my head like lost eyelashes,

in my gut like parasites

I don’t think I like me

I’m rolling over mounds of hair and dust

Your toothbrush is lying on the edge of my sink

and you’ve been gone for 5 months

My fingers numb at the thought of

removing that old sock from under my bed

The last crumb of you

the last sip of white wine

the way your pillow stays cool the whole night

is how it feels now that I’m dying

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Rope.

I was a bully.

I said all the bad things.

I made her cry.

I made her go back home.

I made her quit.

I broke all of the pieces.

I broke.

She came to me one day.

She said that she forgave.

She put her hand in mine.

She made me cry.

She made me fall.

She lifted me back up.

She and I.

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In memory

What if we loved people the way we do

when we’ve heard news that they’ve died?

Wouldn’t your heartfelt cries mean more

if they heard you while they were alive?

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Lodessa

Lodessa ran fast. She ran faster than the boys.

Curly hair to her knees. Lodessa made a lot of noise.

Her hips were as wide as her smile. Lodessa walked like anti-depressants.

Lodessa could make you dream. She’d have you DM’ing in an instance.

Lodessa picked up the slack more than she picked up her books.

She was tall for her age, soft eyes and grown looks.

Lodessa kept her focus until that day she went fishing.

And she got what she wanted. Every follower was dishing.

Lodessa ran faster. She ran faster than broken news.

“Are you sure this is what you want and is this what you choose?”

Lodessa was very smart and they say ‘mightily brave’.

She wasn’t afraid of the stares, the money or the grave.

The only thing that scared her was the loneliness she met.

Every night, all alone, clenching a pillow that was wet.

Lodessa painted on happy eyes and joyous red smile.

Lodessa even let her voice squeak once in a while.

“Where have you been? I haven’t see you in a month.

Did you get back from vacation? Your pics looked like fun.”

Lodessa kept smiling and faking and pretending.

Her world was twisting and shifting and bending.

Friends said she changed. Her head got too big.

“Did you see? Did you see what this idiot did?”

Lodessa cried openly to her closed off fans.

They moved on quickly, you know, short attention spans.

Lodessa deleted her post. She got back to her show.

Lodessa’s voice got real high when her feelings were low.

This continued on, a pattern you know the rest of.

This is the story of Little Old Odessa.

 

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Back in the day

To the girl I said, “build a wall.”

To the boy I said, “learn to climb.”

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Buzzing

It’s a shame we’ve been taught

that you must be in the dark

before you begin to glow.

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Wonder of art

The thing I love about art is that you can define it however you’d like. You can begin and end the story however you want. You can dress the characters and mold the scenes into whatever your mind can imagine. But what is art? What is a story? What’s in a painting or a poem or a song? You are. There is a piece of you left in everything you create. There’s a piece of your memory, your heart, your fears, your joy, and undoubtedly, your spirit. And because of that, you and your art become a part of this world that we all experience. When someone takes just a small piece of what you’ve created–even if it’s just a fraction of your energy–that little bit could be the catalyst they’ll need to become inspired for their own creation. Art gets passed on and recreated over and over again. The true beauty of art is that it can be left up to interpretation and wonder for whoever comes across it. And wonder is what keeps the artist creating.

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Hess’s Law

I miss the nerd version of myself.

I miss the me who believed I could be anything.

I miss making shapes out of clouds.

I miss my angst.

I miss doodling without the boredom.

I miss wondering about the taste of coffee.

I miss grapes.

I miss running through wet grass.

I miss sweating on the front porch.

I miss jumping over cracks.

I miss cough medicine and salt water.

I miss studying.

I miss getting smarter.

I miss growing.

I miss thinking the next day would be better.

 

 

 

 

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Wolves

It’s amazing how many people

get online just to play pretend

with their imaginary friends.

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