i closed my heart
and it hurt me to do a thing
noise banging
like rocks
hitting glass inside my head,
like rivers river-ing in rage
i envy those hills
with bee-buzzing blankets of
seedy dandelions
everybody is screaming at me
the world is in its blackest hour
and i bet it’s been like that for some time
i wish i was deaf, i wish i was death
i wish all the things i was told not to think
so i quieted myself
and swallowed the aching whole
i replaced my anger with laughter and thanking
hands cramped from holding these eyelids shut
asking myself now, ‘did you see what i did?’
i had gotten used to the pain
so much that i’d scabbed over
i had gotten used to the lies
and viewing everything as myth
the truth finally untied
calm restfulness
but it’s quiet now that i’ve opened my eyes.