Accumulation of vacation days

in the cold months

a kid’s ice cream is melting in Rio.

Planning trips for the holidays

and seeing mother’s new charger plates

wasteful wealth rings itself in.

I’ve been hesitant to use sick days

feels like tequila in my eyes

anyhow, it’s enough trouble just breathing.

It’s draining to be liked

and I don’t like my face anymore

because of all the noise.

Tired of retying loosened

knots of bonds that beg to

be broken.

My job is going well but

my god

I miss the weekend by Sunday.

Looking forward to a smoke break

to breathe for 15 minutes

a habit formed as a defense mechanism.

It’s Wednesday and all that’s on my mind

is how much exactly was that wine and

oh shit do I get paid on Friday?

I’m rolling over my PTO

and in my bed and the pillow

I can’t sleep.

Years ago I enjoyed breakfast at home

and a prayer

but today I can’t find my other sock.

I am here, like it or not

there is still choice

in inevitability.